What was the driving force behind you becoming a celebrant?
I became a registered marriage celebrant in July 2020. My decision to become a celebrant was sparked by many friends who felt I had both the skills and personality to bring something special to the celebrant’s role. The seed was first sown when I gave a speech at a friend’s wedding in 2008 after which her husband said I’d make a great celebrant. I simply parked that comment away, but it kept coming back to me time and time again over the following years. Definitely food for thought.
In 2019 we were visiting our best man Peter and his partner Claire in Dublin (yes, my husband’s Irish) and they’d finally decided to marry after being together for 15 years. They told us the “rational” reason behind the decision was that Claire had cancer and wanted to ensure all legalities were sorted should she die. I happened to mention that I felt there were also other deep emotional reasons, which started a beautiful conversation at the end of which Claire said to me, “I wish you were a celebrant and could marry us”.
Forward on a year and Peter and Claire married in their back garden – a lovely intimate wedding. They sent us the wedding video and on watching their ceremony I saw their utter joy, and something inside me 'lit up'. I knew then I wanted to become a marriage celebrant and be part of that for others.
What involvement do you have/have had with CANZ at a branch or national level?
I currently have a very active role in Celebrants Aotearoa. I’m on the National Executive, am NE liaison for Auckland branch alongside my fabulous colleague Brenda Chapman and NE liaison for Northland/Te Tai Tokerau branch.
Brenda and I are also co-chairing Auckland branch in an interim capacity.
As well as this, I attend as many events as possible both in person and online. I’m also fortunate to have regular catch ups with my delightful celebrant buddies.
Tell us about the ceremonies you perform.
At this stage of my celebrant life, I officiate marriage ceremonies, civil unions, registry ceremonies and vow renewals. The only funeral I’ve undertaken so far is my father’s and I’m still deciding when and if I want to move more into this space.
What are the most enjoyable things about being a celebrant?
Definitely the interaction with the couples I work with. They’re all gorgeous! I also love how being a celebrant has enriched my life through learning new skills, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and also meeting amazing celebrant colleagues.
What are some of the hardest parts of the job?
The pressure I put on myself can be an issue for me, especially if I have a number of ceremonies booked. I always want everything to be the best it can and have yet to fully grasp that perfection isn’t my friend.
What was the most memorable ceremony you have performed?
It’s absolutely my first marriage ceremony. It was such a joy to finally officiate a wedding, and I was fortunate enough to have the most fabulous couple. I was nervous and excited at the same time and loved every minute of it.
What does your typical day look like?
I’m normally awake by 6am and my husband presents me with my morning coffee. #bestpartoftheday. I like to exercise in the morning and either do Qigong or go for a walk. More often than not I’ve something to think about or do for either National Executive or Auckland branch and I usually check in with my NE buddy Brenda most days. On the day of a marriage ceremony I adore the ritual of getting ready – final read through and rehearsal of the ceremony script, going through my checklist to ensure I’ve got everything I need (especially the marriage papers!). Then I like to take my time putting on my makeup and my wedding outfit. I find this ritual calms me and gets me in a brilliant headspace for what I’m about to do.
What advice do you have for someone new to the industry?
Be passionate! The love for what you do will always shine through in any of the ceremonies or rituals you undertake, which makes it so meaningful to everyone you serve.
Be inquisitive! Never stop learning or asking questions as there’s always something new to discover. Either within the celebrant world or about the needs and wishes of the people whose ceremonies you undertake.
Be knowledgeable! Undertake celebrant training, which I did and that certainly gave me far more confidence. Also reach out to a celebrant buddy for advice when needed or seek a mentor.
Be you! Find your celebrant niche and don’t compare yourself with other celebrants. Your unique qualities and gifts will be perfect for those who seek you out.
How do you like to relax?
I love walking, reading, going to the theatre and movies, catching up with friends, drinking a glass of bubbles, sitting in a café enjoying a coffee, writing in my journal, travelling. I enjoy spending time with my amazing husband, my dear friends, my nephews and nieces, godchildren and my awesome celebrant buddies.
[IMAGE: Mala Photography]
