What was the driving force behind you becoming a celebrant?
Forty-one years ago, I was married by an independent celebrant in a beautiful garden. The experience was so positive that I knew, from that moment, I wanted to become a celebrant myself.
As an international teacher for 18 years, I adored working with people from diverse cultures and languages, and I have carried this passion into my celebrancy work.
I incorporate cultural elements into ceremonies, often greeting families in their native languages, creating a warm and inclusive experience. In 2018, I became a registered marriage celebrant and immediately sought professional training, knowing that learning from experts would help me offer the best possible service.
I trained with the Celebrant Training College, completing the Marriage Celebrancy course, followed by the Creating Excellent Ceremonies & Business course. This ignited a fire within me. I realised I wanted to transition out of teaching five- to seven-year-olds and work as a celebrant. I knew it wasn't going to be fulltime work, but a great way to 'retire' without stopping work of some kind.
That first year, while still teaching full-time, I officiated five ceremonies. Behind the scenes, I was laying the groundwork for my business—creating an Instagram account, building a website, learning about SEO (a whole new language!), and taking online courses with experts from the USA and UK. I developed a clear vision for my business, assessed my current position, set short- and long-term goals, and analysed my financial outlook.
Understanding my ideal clients was key, and from there, I crafted a strategic plan. (A lot of this work was carried out during the Covid lockdown) My office wall became a vision board, covered with A3 sheets mapping out my goals. Each accomplishment was a cause for celebration, and I took immense satisfaction in marking off milestones as I achieved them. These included completing the Funeral Celebrancy training and leading a celebration ceremony in Portugal for a couple I knew very well, after marrying them in a Registry ceremony here in Tauranga. Today, I look back with gratitude at the journey that brought me here and forward with excitement for the many celebrations yet to come.
What involvement do you have/have had with CANZ at a branch or national level?
I joined CANZ after my first training course when we were told of the many reasons to belong. I have attended some in-person events and have loved the Zoom sessions too. For one year I was the Chair of the Bay of Plenty branch.
Tell us about the ceremonies you perform.
I have married several couples with just my husband and daughter as the witnesses because they wanted to have a really private ceremony, and I have married a couple on a rugby field with a wedding party of 16 and over 200 guests. I rarely marry people inside and frequently it is on or overlooking a beach - after all, I live in Tauranga! On two occasions I have married couples who were married in their 20's, divorced a few years later, and found each other again in their 60-70's and remarried. I particularly love working with couples who have young children - I've taught them for 40 years and they don't scare me! Once I stopped teaching, I was able to start leading funerals. I have witnessed such profound love in families, and had many fascinating history lessons. I have also learned a lot about myself as I navigate the acute grief I am seeing in families.
What are the most enjoyable things about being a celebrant?
He tangata, he tangata, he tangata—The people, the people, the people. At the heart of celebrancy are the connections we make. One of the greatest rewards is the lasting bond formed with those I have worked with. When I run into a couple I have married or a family I have supported through a funeral, the joy in reconnecting is genuine. There are real hugs, warm smiles, and a deep sense of shared history. These people will always hold a special place in my heart.
What are some of the hardest parts of the job?
Witnessing the overwhelming grief people feel, while holding my own emotions in check (at least until I reach my car!) The 11-year-old boy who sat through his mother's funeral, not making a sound, but tears streamed down his face the whole time. The 72-year-old man who was so distraught that his daughter died before he had. The 83-year-old woman who sang to her husband as his coffin was being lowered into the grave. The couples who over-spend on a Pinterest-worthy wedding day, using the word 'stressed' frequently and wishing they had eloped without all the fuss.
What was the most memorable ceremony you have performed?
I had 13 inquiries from couples who wanted to marry on 22/2/22. Thankfully, I chose the fishing trip. We were at sea from 8am - 4pm and did the best fishing of my life. At 2pm we changed out of fishy clothes into nicer attire and had the ceremony on the boat, anchored in the most gorgeous rocky bay, three hours out from Matakana. With the boat captain as my timekeeper, I was able to pronounce them married at exactly 2:22pm. Then the groomsmen all jumped overboard for a swim in their wedding clothes, and the bride threw small fish to the guys to catch, in lieu of being able to toss her bouquet. We laughed all day.
What does your typical day look like?
I am the administrator for the Celebrant Training College as well as a trainer and assessor. I get lots of calls and emails from people inquiring about becoming a celebrant and enrolling for courses. Then I send the manuals out, book the venues for training and post books that are sold on our website.
Last year I was asked to become a trainer and I assumed I would not like it. But at the end of the first weekend of teaching, I rang Sally Cant and said, "I LOVED that! How refreshing to teach adults!"
I have met amazing people through this work - new celebrants and people who have been doing this work for years but want some fresh ideas. So my typical day is admin, preparation for teaching, writing marriage and funeral ceremonies, making beautiful vow cards for each couple, and marking the assignment work that the Celebrant Training College students send in (frequently 15-18 assignments per day come into my inbox.) However, with a flexible schedule, I can take a day off if I feel like it!
What advice do you have for someone new to the industry?
Do the training! Every single person who trains is blown away with the things they learned. You just don't know what you don't know. People always feel far more confident after training.
How do you like to relax?
I enjoy starting my day with a morning gym session before settling down to work. Three afternoons a week, my husband and I are lucky to have our grandsons with us—they keep us busy and endlessly entertained. In my creative time, I love making interactive albums from scratch, designing them with intricate moving parts. After living overseas for 18 years, our thirst for travel remains unquenched, and my husband and I are always planning our next adventure—this year, we’re off to Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia! And of course, any day that ends with a G&T or a glass of rosé is a great day!
You can find out more about Debbie on her website.
